Day thirty-eight…. hello world.

Dear World, hello. It is thanksgiving. And today, I am thankfull. woah, what a concept! I, my friends, am thankful for many things. But I think, if I had to admit it to a crowded room, why, please don’t ask… that I am most thankful for thankfulness. Because that makes so much sense, I know. Indeed I am thankful that I can be thankful. But, to explain this further my friends, I must rant a short spiel.

Doesn’t it seem true that every time you think your fine, okay, or maybe even good, something just knocks you down from that decent place you just reached? Well for me it’s been God thats been knocking me down. Which, although doesn’t sound the most pleasant, is quite good. Well, in this past year I’ve been through some very.. unique.. experiences, and even now I’m struggling with getting through some of them.

Yet, alas!, I know in the bible it says we should rejoice as we suffer for God. Do you know how weird it is to be thankful for being able to be thankful for struggling? Yeah, it still confuses me as well haha. And what I really especially find amusing is that even though I’ve been going through all these things, somehow, God has found a way to use me, through these struggles, to kindle a friendship yes I just said kindle with a certain person.

So, I am so thankful for my struggling. And to be able to be thankful about that. Confuuusssingggg!

 

-Take 38

Day thirty-seven… raaaaandom!

Iiiit’s Random Poetry Time!!! I am currently making this up as I go… this should be interesting..

Empty streets

filled with people

crowded rooms

yet I’m all alone

who would have thought

the one you loved most

would always be the one

that lets you down..

~ ~ ~

I’m more sophisticated

than your average girl

I like to read those poems

from around the world

I like to talk about those problems

and then I like to solve them

I enjoy walking

along, alone on the beach

I’ll stop just to watch the ocean

though it’s just out of reach

I like to think

of ways to be okay

I like to dream

All throughout the day

I’ll dream big and dream far

But never get into action

I’ll ball it into a wish

A wish once upon a star.

~~~~~~

That was a fail. All well! good exercise I guess?

Day thirty-six… d’awww

The Necklace

Soo, I log on and  casually look at my stats, don’t ask how I could formally look at them.., and I see that there are a lot of views on my birthday, which made me go, “D’aww how cute.” And then I moved on with my life… Hah, anyways.

Well, what am I viewing today? Oh right, I am viewing Youtube Videos.. Well, that sounds interesting at least.. I honestly don’t watch them too often, but when I do I mostly enjoy them. I subscribe to several pretty epic peoples, like: Shane Dawson, iJustine, Nigahiga, and of course, whatthebuck. By far beating all of these, however, is the amazing A VERY POTTER MUSICAL, which I just absolutely loved.. You have to watch it! It’s hilarious, if not time consuming ^^. Connect up with all of them though, it’s epic.

Also today, I am viewing my birthday! Woot! Which happened to be yesterday. You see, I like Birthdays, they’re cool and all, but hey. It’s just another day! The only real good it does is besides presents you can finally calculate exactly how many days, minutes, or heck, even seconds old you are.. Counting today I am 5476 days old, give or take a few leap years.. which is amusing to me.. Also, you have the perfect opportunity to say, “On this day, many a moon ago, was the day of the coming of the womb,” and people actually know what your talking about. How often do I say that? You don’t want to know! So that’s why I like Birthdays. Favorite present you ask? A 10k gold necklace. It’s beautiful! It looks a little like the picture above! Yay, now you know why that random pic is there!! Mines a bit more detailed, which just makes it all the better. A good choice by my Aunt and Cousin! The Birthday was amazing, and so are my family and friends.. Until next time!

-Take 36

Day thirty-five.. buttons.

Not only is Buttons the name of my friends cat, but they are also those things you “button” up your shirt, jacket, or whatever other  apparel you can think of, with. Who knew? Well, in addition to the poems, I’ve decided that maybe I could put some of what I like to call, the “Status’ I wish I could post” on facebook of course ^^. I had originally started this in my journal, but decided, hey, I should make some of these public! So, viola, here we are. Here is mine for the day. P.S. I don’t make one EVERY day, just every so often, or when I feel the need.

Some girls are just like buttons. They’re nice and pretty to look at, but inside all that plastic is, well, just more plastic. You think, “Oh, how nice, look at these cool buttons!” But then forget about them right away.  You may even get some compliments on them, but that is about all you will get. So let me ask you something. Can a button hold a conversation?

Now, the reason I wanted to make this a status is because of two specific situations, and hey, guess what! I’ll tell you them both.. Cauusee thats what I do. I’ll keep everyones name.. anonymous.. just on the off chance anyone I really know looks at this. (Besides you, Julia and Danielle!)

My first situation is with a good (guy) friend that I’ve had since around fifth grade. Now, although I used to absolutely despise him back in grade school, we have, like I said, grown ishly close this past year and a half I guess. And what makes this situation a situation is that there’s this girl, also a friend, who is flirting with him. Terribly. But the sad thing is, it’s working on him, because all she is doing is standing a bit too close, and “drops” things all the time in front of him.. WHY ARE YOU SO DUMB (to guy friend)!! Like I said, all she is is a button. Pretty to look at, but nothing more. Urgh….. Urgh.

And then we have our second situation. This one pretty much plays out the same. This is another good guy friend I’ve known since second grade. And now this girl comes a long, another button of course, and touches his arm, stands too close, sits too close, does everything to close. And all the sudden, “Oh, it’s love, it’s love!”

BULL CRAP.

Day thirty-four.. i can not spell, seriously.

The perfect example, might I add, is me trying to spell can not. I’m pretty sure its cannot. Fail.

So, after another freakishly long time without posting, here we go again. But you know, I think posting.. hmm.. helps, I guess you could say. Everyone needs a vent. Especially me ^^.

Everyone goes through some tough stuff. I keep wanting to spell it like Tuff Stuff! But I realized something very important the other day. Throughout all of the criticism, condemnation, disapproval, and excruciating attacks, you CANNOT give up. I used to think that the better, the easier, thing to do was give up, shut up, and become a puppet. Literally, for an entire weekend I hardly said a word. And that is REALLY strange for me! Because, I knew that if I said something wrong, I would automatically be judged. The whole time all I could think of was, “Did it really only take me one night to lose myself?” I was terrified. I found that all I normally had to say was useless junk. Now, that I’ve “found” myself again, I do realize that it is probably still true. Maybe all I have to say is useless junk, but hey, it’s MY useless junk. Hahahah just kidding. What I realized is that my voice is my way to express myself, and without it I truly would lose myself. P.S. that should be a quote.

So, needless to say, I have found my voice again. I realized that if I did give in all I would be remembered for is this: “Look there she is. Poor girl. She fell away from God. She let the world get to her.” And that my friends, is never going to be said of ME. This is what will be said instead props for rhymes! And spelling rhymes right! : “Look there she is. Strong girl. She stuck with God. She never let the world get to her.”

When all the plans fail, and nothing goes right

Don’t believe there’s no avail, one day the sky will be bright

And everything will go your way

Not because you gave up today

But because you stood strong

And knew that tomorrow, nothing would go wrong

-Take 34

Day thirty-three.. Prom..?

Ugh, I want to kill prom. I’m not in the right grade for it yet, and I obviously never want to be, but it already seems annoying as anything. Like the  really annoying type of annoying. Just imagine this:

You’re sitting at lunch with your closest friend, who happens to be an eleventh grader, and several of her friends of the same age, all talking about the prom… twenty four seven. It tends to get a little annoying. But good news is, is that today is the actual day of the prom, so, after another week or two of, “Oh my gosh I can’t believe she wore that!” and, “they should totally not be together,”‘s, my afflictions shall finally be over. I can’t believe I actually just said shall.

But enough about that. Lets talk about.. cheese? Pencils. didn’t see that one coming. I hate normal pencils. Wow, I hate a lot of things today. And I hate pens. Both of them stink. The only thing I can ever deal with is mechanical pencils. And even they urk me. I guess it’s just because.. well,… I’m a lefty. What can I say? I’m a leftosaurus, as my friend would say. And anything I ever write gets permanently inscribed on the left side of my left hand. It’s really annoying. Just kidding about the permanent part though. Sure, often times I like being a lefty, because it’s different, there aren’t a lot of us, yaddah bladah, but most of the time it’s just plain annoying. But hey, I guess I can’t really change what God gave meh, eh?

Oh! P.s., I dyed my hair black finally, and I love it! Even though my family is giving me crap about it =[ I don’t care! It’s very me. Although, I now look, according to everyone I know, even more like Miranda Cosgrove.. All well!

- Take 33

Day thirty-two.. one word. blerg.

Blerg, was the general feeling of today. Just, blerg. It’s like a mix between blah, and urg… but with an e? I’m not exactly quite sure why, but hey, that’s life! But the good news is, is tonight I will be relaxing, blogging (obviously), and.. I don’t know, maybe watch a movie? I think my parents watched Sherlock Holmes on OnDemand yesterday, so maybe I can pull that one back up XD It’s a good movie, alright?

Well anyways, enough with the depressing.. How ’bout a little.. poetry? That’s not any better is it..Well, I haven’t really put any up for a while, so I guess I should now.. Heck, I haven’t written any for a while.. This is sad. Well, heres one I probably wrote in the middle of the night a while ago..

Who says I can’t rebel

Who says I won’t yell

Who says I can’t cross the line

Just don’t try to change my mind

Who says I can’t say no

Who says I won’t go

Who says I can’t lie

Just don’t try to make me try

Who says I can’t do this

Who says I won’t feel bliss

Who says I can’t be mad

Just don’t try to make me sad

Who says I can’t feel guilt

Who says I won’t have anger built

Who says I can’t make mistakes

Just don’t believe I won’t do what it takes

Who says I can’t regret

Who says I won’t make mistakes yet

Who says I can’t learn from all of my ways

Who says I can’t ask who says

I think I’ll call it.. Who Says

-Take 32

Day thirty-one.. thirds a charm!

Oh wow, I’ve posted three days in a row! Well, you know they say the thirds a charm! Lets hope this is a good one..

Today was a very good day. And when I say very, I mean V E R Y here. It’s like, very good. Very very good. Did I say it was very good?? And do you, oh random readers, know whhhyy it was very good? Well hopefully you don’t, otherwise you would be stalking me.. Well, it was very good for several reasons… One being, yah blah, school was fine. I enjoyed the awesome bible study I attended with mah best friends, received some good grades, yadda bladda blah, etc etc. The real fun began when I decided to go to a choir concert with my mother lame?, where all the proceeds went to her awesome work. So first of all, the performance was absolutely amazing. I’m pretty critical when it comes to voices and things, so me saying it was great really means something.. At least to me.. But second, and most greatly, there was this guy.. There’s always a guy, isn’t there.., who looked exactly.. Like:

Yep, thats right, he looked EXACTLY like Taylor Lautner..

‘Nuff said.

-Take 31

Day thirty… wah =’[

Wah =’[ ps thats me crying. I am way too tired to be awake. Have you ever had those nights where you just can’t sleep? Well, last night was one of those nights. I go to bed at a respectable hour for once, and what do  I get? Not being able to fall asleep until around 1:45 because music is stuck in my head. House of Heroes to be exact. That’s always the worse too, because you can’t really consciously help it. Be proud I spelled that right XD. You drift and drift, when all the sudden “Tears in your eyes, wind in your hair. Cold in the water, warm in the flow of blood.” and “Sleep with the light on Keep the lonliness away I feel the darkness anyway” etc etc starts playing over and over again.. thaaats a lot of repeats. It’s terrible. Not even my almighty fan helped. It was so sad. The other thing I hate about those types of nights is when you finally get a bit of sleep then wake up just about an hour before you actually have to. Your just like, “seriously?… seriously?” It’s terrible. But hey, then again, most of my nights are that way. Slash mornings yah yah. I swear I have some mild form of insomnia. Maybe I’ll look it up. Thanks for the advice, self. Well, you know, thats how I do. Yah, your pretty awesome. Oh don’t make me blush. Yes I am talking to myself… Uhh, this is sad.

-Take 30

Day twenty-nine.. oh crap.

Wow, it has been wayyy more than twenty-nine days.. all well! Well, for all of you viewers who randomly look at my wonderfully dull site, check out my friends! She is an a amazing writer, way better then me may I add, and also happens to be one of my best friends! Check it out! www.majororminor.wordpress.com.. She’s very stirring XD yes thats a smiley face.. I think?

So guess what happened today in my music history and appreciation class?! Wow, now thats a mouthful.. Yep, that’s right, I did terrible on a test. What’s new? I got a 76 or something, but yet, I still have a 96 in the class aka A+! I don’t even know how that’s possible.. But all I have to say is, thank you Mr. S!! You gotta love those easy A’s.

Also today a funny thing happened.. But first some background.. So my brother is in college, of the community style, and he thinks he’s all that. Totally fine by me, it’s whatever I have been saying that a lot lately.. But today he asked me to do something.. He asked me.. to help him.. with math…. math! I started cracking up. I don’t know if you realize this, but he is what, four years older than me? Well, it just about made my day, so I’m satisfied. Has anything like that ever happened to you, oh random readers? Has anyone older then you ever asked you for help on something simple? Personally it always entertains me. So tell me your stories! I want to hear!

I was reading my friends blog, and she has a little sign off thing.. like a pen name. I wish I had one!! So, I’m going to start one.. Here goes!:

-Take 29

OH thats cute! Haha!